Saturday, December 10, 2011

They're Mad Because They Think We've Won


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I talked to my boyfriend's family last night on Skype. They're really fantastic and amazing people. We talked about my family and how they will react when I go home to see them in January. I told them I wasn't sure how my family would react, but I definitely wanted to avoid having another Sit-Down-Dragged-Out fight where my family forces me to explain myself. I feel like the situation is clear: I left Utah to live with my boyfriend and guess what? I'm not coming back.

My boyfriend's Dad asked how I was going to deal with my Mom. I haven't talked to her in eight months. Despite emailing my family through the family email, asking my dad every time he calls how she is, offering to help her with any projects since she's stresses out because of church {surprise}, letting her know when I'll be Skyping the family so she could be around and emailing her directly, she just ignores me. The one time she was around when I Skyped my Dad for his birthday, she refused to talk directly to me and addressed all questions to my dad to ask me.

"Why is she still mad?" his Dad asked.

"She's a very stubborn woman."

"I think she's mad because she feels like she lost. And we won. Well, not "won." But, you like us and you're not like them anymore. They've "lost." And she doesn't like that."

So here I am. In the "Lost" category.

Boyfriend and I tried explaining that while things might get better, every failure, every struggle, everything that ever goes wrong is going to be because we aren't Mormon. His mom thought that was ridiculous. How could anyone think that?

That's just the way it is.

No matter how much I win in life...

To them

I'm always lost.

- Emily

2 comments:

  1. My sister-in-law is in a similar situation with my mother-in-law. It's sad that this is such a common situation for LDS families. Excerpt from an email from MIL to SIL, "Why don't you come to Utah and you could borrow your sister's old wedding dress and get married to your boyfriend?" A lot of LDS parents just don't 'get' that their adult children are adults and that offering conditional love completely undermines the relationship.

    -muucavwon

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a great posting I have read. I like your article.

    ReplyDelete

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