Thursday, November 10, 2011

How to Be an Adult


When B and I started to discuss medical school and moving I was slightly horrified. That is, I basically had a nervous breakdown. It took a long, hard year of evaluating and discussing and {I'm not going to lie} drama, to get me here.

As was expected there were plenty of nay-sayers. Everyone was {naturally and, I would like to think, lovingly} concerned and offered their own opinions and advice. And I mean every. one. It was ahard choice, but one I'm ultimately extremely proud of and happy with. While I know these two years of medical school aren't The Big Picture of Life as a Doctor's Significant Other and my experience is completely unique, the worries that I {and others} had turned out to be just that -- worries. Not to discount their legitimate concerns {or to say neener-neener-neener}and obviously each couple, school and family is different, but after almost six months on the Island, I want to address those worries and -most of all- say: Make your own choices. Own up to them. Listen to others' advice, but make the choice you feel comfortable with. It makes you an adult. Trust me. I'm 23 years old. And I know everything

#1. You'll never see B. 
Ha. Ha. Hahahahahahahaha. While most ladies I know have husbands that study at school, B studies at home. So, I see him more than I ever have. I know this will change but for now we just enjoy it.

#2. B will be too busy to hang out with you. 
is very busy. And he does work very hard. But, he's not a jerk and we do occasionally get out of the house and do something that isn't sitting next to each other reading books. He knows when to have fun too. And by occasionally I mean pretty often.

#3. You'll be a distraction.
Thanks. I think I'm not a distraction. And so do B's grades, test scores, Honor Society Membership and Dean's List awards. I try not to be a pain in the ass. I want B to do well!!

#4. You'll be so bored. 
Hello. Beach. Dog. Island. Writing. Reading. Friends. Yes, there are times I get antsy, but I'm rarely so. miserably. BORED.

#5. What about getting a job? Money? Do you want  to be a mooch? 
Luckily, I have a writing job online. I also work on campus once a week. It's not a whole, whole bunch of money, but it does help. And I do all the regular stuff a "Housewife" would do. Laundry, Groceries, Dishes, Lunch and Dinner, Cleaning the Things...B helps too {obviously}, but if I can help him study a little better because he doesn't have to do laundry or make dinner or whatever, I'm happy to. This also falls under Not Being a Distraction and Not Being Bored. Also falls under Generally Having a Successful Relationship. Give and Take people.

#6. You don't have any friends at B's medical school.
B's school has an excellent Spouses Org where I've made friends!

#7. What if you hate it?
To which B always said, "What if you love it???" Remember what I said about being an adult? Make your own choices and live with the consequences. I could have hated any number of things I decided to do with my life. But, that's not a reason not to do something. Decide for yourself whether the risks are worth it. Happily, I love it here. Not that it's always perfect.

But it's definitely, definitely always worth it.
- Emily


  1. This is a great post. I'm actually about to move to where my man is attending medical school, and have been trying NOT to hear all the things people say.

  2. Your life sounds lovely to me. It cracks me up how people will look for the negatives, and never stop to consider the other side of the picture. I think you're in a great situation. (And I wish I were on an island like yours!!)


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