Monday, February 28, 2011

S is for...

Sacrament Meeting

I went to Sacrament Meeting with my two little sisters and my dad on Sunday.  My dad is a member of the High Council. He is very righteous. He went straight from Ward Financial Clerk to High Councilman in a matter of years. For those that don’t know what a High Councilman is, I would relate it to...a vicar maybe? I’m not all that familiar with the hierarchy of other churches.  He’s a step above a pastor...he travels around to other Mormon churches in the area and goes to meetings from 6am to 6pm. It’s great. Point being, he is fairly important and extremely busy.

He spoke at a retirement home on this particular Sunday. The home has its own Sunday service.
My dad asked the residents to think of a time when they were most happy. What were they doing? How did they feel? He continued. It was probably when they were very closely following The Gospel. This interrupted my nice memory of lounging half-dressed, lightly salty in the mid-day heat of an Italian villa with my boyfriend; the sun cutting butter cream rays across our...Wait what? Church things? Sorry, young lovers.

Following The Gospel. He said when he was young, he married my Mom in the Temple, of course. There, there they made a promise to God. And to each other. He said he was happy then. They didn’t have much. But, they were very happy.

I told this story to my boyfriend yesterday. He’s a non-denom Christian. I wanted him to be upset. I wanted him to feel sad. Sad that my dad mentioned a promise to God as more important than anything else.

“I don’t know, Emily.” He said. A commitment to God is pretty important.”
“More than to each other? I think...I think I love you more.”
 “But, we won’t always be together.”
“ wouldn’t want to be with me?”
“We’ll be together. Just, not like we are now. Heaven isn’t exactly like Earth, Em. Or, is that what you think it’s like? Em? Honey? Is that what you think?”

I just left. (He lives in a different country, by the way. We were Skyping.)  I watched Say Yes to the Dress where the only thing that matters in a wedding is the damn Princess Dress. Eventually, I turned it off. One, I had a stomachache (may or may not be related). Two, it makes me sad. Mothers together helping pick out dresses. Some drama, but mostly excitement. Will I ever get that? Do I get a happy, wedding with the dress and the happy family?

My mom told me, “Don’t expect me to pay for your wedding if you don’t get married in the Temple.”

I don’t care if she pays for it. I’ll be old enough to pay for it myself, I’d prefer it. But, I want to celebrate with out my mom throwing out insults, my sister boycotting and my dad crying. Am I being a little over dramatic? Is it okay not to invite my family? I want to say Yes to a dress without it being covered by a damn green apron. I don’t want that to be the most important moment of my life. I don’t want a promise made to God in bakery costumes to be the best memory. I want to make happy memories long after that...and I guess I’m afraid if I don’t get the right beginning, I won’t.

- Emily

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